Be that awkward person on the street
Original Medium Post HERE
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Bring joy to yourself — and maybe others too
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My son asked me to dab when walking outside the Cloisters in New York (with a great view of New Jersey)
Do you ever laugh out loud at a thought, song, or favorite movie scene — while walking alone?
Do you ever say or do something awkward in a quick interaction, and then think about it after and laugh at yourself, awkwardly, as you walk away?[1]
Like maybe you just washed your hands, but didn’t fully dry them, because those air dryers always take too long — and then someone wanted to shake your hand, so you tried to quickly dry your hands on your pants, but you thought your hand might have still been a little damp, but you shook their hand anyway, and then you felt awkward as you exchanged pleasantries while still focusing on the question of if you should explain that your hands were damp because they were freshly washed? And maybe you didn’t explain it?
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Maybe your answer to these questions is, “No. Who does that?”
Still, I know I’m not totally alone in making myself laugh out loud with no audience.
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Finding fun in the everyday
The laughs generally don’t come when I’m looking at my phone (unless I’m watching a Saturday Night Live skit). These little snippets of fun come when I give myself the time and freedom to look around while I walk, or run. Time to take in my surroundings, to daydream. Time to get excited, developing new ideas for this blog, or work, or life. [2] Time to be bored.
Or time to be mindful.
Recently, it was walking back from a board retreat near South Station in Boston. I walked along the Rose Kennedy Greenway back to the T — by trees and sculptures, flowers and colorful steaming art installations in a ribbon of park downtown.
After an energizing retreat thinking and reconnecting in person, I walked on that blue-sky, sunny, not-too-cold January day and couldn’t help smiling. Nature and sunshine, and mindfulness, can do that.
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Mindfulness and fun
Fun is one of our five pillars of joy[3]; mindfulness is another. A broad research base demonstrates how transformative mindfulness is for joy and wellbeing. The world’s happiest man is a serial meditator.[4]
If case meditation feels inaccessible or overwhelming, there is another definition of mindfulness, made famous by Ellen Langer.[5] It’s about being present in the moment. If you aren’t meditating (or if you are), finding a few minutes a day to be really present — like when walking or running outside — can be really good for you. It might make it easier to start meditating too.
Being mindful also can make you more aware of those fun and funny moments throughout your day.
My daughter approaches the water, unaware that she is fully mindful of her surroundings in Biddeford Pool, Maine.
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Connecting to community joy
When I was in my young 20s, I conducted an experiment on the streets of Downtown Boston. I wanted to prove the city wasn’t as unfriendly as people said — and at least to myself, I did prove it.
I would strike up conversations while waiting for the Walk signal on street corners.
I said “hi” to people walking in my direction, when downtown, and found if I said “hi” from five feet away, and made direct eye contact, people usually said “hi” back.
Sometimes, my then-fiancée, now wife, thought I said it a little too quietly, too quickly, and awkwardly. She gave me the nickname “giant creep.”
Then I didn’t say hi on the street quite as much.
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But I digress . . .
When we are present in our walks, or on our public transportation trips, or in other places — when we are mindful, and maybe a little playful, we can share our joy with those we meet with a warm “hello”. Joy is contagious; we can spread it, and (many) people will give us more in turn.
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So be that slightly (but not too) awkward person on the street. Have fun, be present, smile, say hi.
You might make someone else’s day.
At the very least, you just might make your own.
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Please share, subscribe, and join our movement by emailing me or supporting East Boston Social Centers.
This is the 49th post about boosting joy the only way we can: in community.
Stay joyful, East Boston.
[2] Ideas always feel better with a mild runner’s high. I can’t guarantee they actually are good.
[5] She had a great recent conversation on the Good Life Project podcast with Jonathan Fields.