My favorite lovingkindness meditation (or prayer)
Original Medium Post HERE
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How it can support your wellbeing, increase compassion, and grow community joy
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Holding downward dog with family in Cornwall, England. Long holds are a perfect time for lovingkindness
I love Breathe and Flow’s yoga, workout, and meditation videos. Several videos end with two-minute plank holds. When I think I have been holding a plank for a while and the instructor Flo says only thirty seconds have passed, I feel like collapsing.
But finding words to repeat in my mind, at a normal talking pace, while slowing my breath, helps me get through without time moving quite as slowly.
No: those repeated words aren’t usually profanities directed at Flo.
Instead, a lovingkindness meditation or repeated prayer[1] provides perfect words and rhythm.
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Benefits of lovingkindness
You might pray to connect with your higher power or meditate for spiritual connection, not for any other benefit. Perhaps it is still nice to know you receive unintended benefits from your devotion, but if you don’t want to know other benefits, skip to the next bolded section.
If you do want to know just a few of the many benefits . . .
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Meditation is a pillar of community joy[2] because it powers transformative increases in joy. Regular lovingkindness meditation brings special benefits, including increased self-compassion, decreased inflammation (a marker for long-term health), increasing positive emotion (joy), and strengthened relationships.[3]
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Prayer brings similar, and distinct, benefits. A year after one structured study, people who had prayed for each other continued to show improvements in anxiety and depression.[4] Prayer can increase calm and support positive relationships. Repetitive prayer, like the Catholic Rosary (or a lovingkindness prayer), can improve breathing, leading to other health benefits.[5]
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How you can use this lovingkindness meditation
Lovingkindess meditations provide structure, giving an accessible entrypoint for meditation/ contemplation. They also can easily be adapted for a variety of faith traditions — or secular use.
You can repeat them in a private meditative session, or while holding two-minute planks, out for a walk/ run, or mentally processing your anger at the person who always seems to fully recline in front of you in coach, even though you are 6’5” tall (not talking about a personal experience here). You can adjust the number of repetitions to fit the time you have.
The special lovingkindness meditation I share below wishes ourselves, others, and our communities joy; and helps us focus on what matters most for joy and wellbeing.
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Make this lovingkindness your own.
Print it and fill in names in the blanks, if helpful.
You can make it a prayer: “Dear God, please may I be joyful . . ..”
Alternatively, contemplate a set of intentions: “May I be joyful . . ..”
And now, here it is . . .
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A lovingkindness meditation based in community joy
Perhaps review the words and practice the meditation with your eyes closed. (Read if needed). Think the words slowly. Repeat the words, or add other people/ animals if you have more time.
Prepare to slow your breathing to align with the words.
Once you are ready, get into a comfortable position. Perhaps sit cross-legged with your back straight, but relaxed.
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Now visualize the person (starting with yourself) and the intentions. Say in your mind:
May I be joyful.
May I have long and strong relationships.
May I live with purpose.
May I be fit.
May I be mindful.
May I have fun.
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Choose someone you are very close to — perhaps a spouse, child, parent, or best friend. Visualize these intentions for them. Say in your mind:
May _____________________________________ be joyful.
May ______________________________ have long and strong relationships.
May _____________________________________ live with purpose.
May _____________________________________ be fit.
May _____________________________________ be mindful.
May _____________________________________ have fun.
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Perhaps there is another person/ people you want to add. (I always start with my wife above, and then go to my children.) Visualize these intentions for them. Say in your mind:
May _____________________________________ be joyful.
May ______________________________ have long and strong relationships.
May _____________________________________ live with purpose.
May _____________________________________ be fit.
May _____________________________________ be mindful.
May _____________________________________ have fun.
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Now think about someone you don’t know well — maybe someone you often see in passing, an employee at a favorite store, etc. Visualize these intentions for them. Say in your mind:
May _____________________________________ be joyful.
May ______________________________ have long and strong relationships.
May _____________________________________ live with purpose.
May _____________________________________ be fit.
May _____________________________________ be mindful.
May _____________________________________ have fun.
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Now think of someone you’ve been struggling with: someone with whom you have an unresolved argument, or someone who frustrates you. Visualize these intentions for them. Say in your mind:
May _____________________________________ be joyful.
May ______________________________ have long and strong relationships.
May _____________________________________ live with purpose.
May _____________________________________ be fit.
May _____________________________________ be mindful.
May _____________________________________ have fun.
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Now think about all people in your community, or in the world. Visualize these intentions for them. Say in your mind:
May all people be joyful.
May all people have long and strong relationships.
May all people live with purpose.
May all people be fit.
May all people be mindful.
May all people have fun.
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Post-script:
Alternatively, your last set of intentions can be for all beings — including animals. If so, you might change “be mindful” to “find peace,” given that guinea pigs might not really be mindful (or distracted). (You might also be wondering if cats want to build strong relationships; I will just say I have known some very affectionate cats).
Stay joyful, East Boston.
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Please share, subscribe, and join our movement by emailing me or supporting East Boston Social Centers.
This is the 52nd post about boosting joy the only way we can: in community.
[1] For simplicity, I will refer to “lovingkindness” or “lovingkindness meditation” for much of this piece to mean both lovingkindness meditation and lovingkindness prayer.
[2] Community joy recognizes joy lives in community and is strengthened in relationships. Joy = emotional wellbeing X time. Joy incorporates a positive emotional baseline, while recognizing life has ups and downs.
[3] See this Kripalu research summary, this review article, and information from calm.com.
[5] See this CNN research summary including even more prayer benefits, this article about the Rosary and breathing and this about other Rosary benefits.